In the bible, self-control is always presented and praised as righteous and a desired trait. Its absence is listed among the unrighteous traits of men in the “last days” (2 Tim. 3:1,3).
In 2 Peter 1:6, Peter admonishes us to add self-control to knowledge. The Greek word is egkrateia1 which comes from egkrates, and it means strong, having power over or mastering something. The same Greek word appears in Galatians 5:23, where it is part of the fruit of the Spirit. Bible study alone does not make us righteous nor will it get us into Heaven; we must practice what we learn, which requires self-control. Self-control is what enables us to avoid what is condemned and pursue what is commanded. Perseverance must then be added to our self-control. People are not born with self-control: Children must be trained to control themselves. It takes perseverance to control ourselves in all things.
None of us are born with the fruits of the spirit; We must cultivate and master them. Self-control is a necessary component of each. We can’t develop self-control without God’s help. When I place myself under God’s control (by submitting to Him), then I am committing to letting His Word guide me. It will help me control myself, by bringing every thought into obedience to Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).
To control oneself is a choice. We must choose to control our attitude, desires, speech, and dress.
To have yourself under control, you must…
CONTROL YOUR ATTITUDE
In Titus 2:5 Paul tells Titus the older women should teach the younger to – among other things – “…be self-controlled” (ESV). When we live “self-controlled” lives, with our minds set on Christ and His will, we will have life and peace (Rom. 8:6). On the other hand, a woman without self-control deserves pity. She is “like a city broken down, without walls” (Prov. 25:28) – uncontrolled and insecure.
CONTROL YOUR DESIRES
“Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. (1 Cor. 9:25, NASV). Joseph Henry Thayer wrote that this is, “…a figure drawn from athletes, who in preparing themselves for the games abstained from unwholesome food, wine, and sexual indulgence.”2 Bringing our fleshly appetites into control is difficult. We have to practice controlling the desire to eat a gallon of ice cream when we know that it is not beneficial for us. Being faithful to God and our brethren by assembling together causes us to set aside things we might otherwise desire to do…shopping, watching TV, attending or participating in sporting events, and so on.
Sexual desire is God-given, and He ordained that the proper place to satisfy that desire is in the marriage bed. (1 Cor. 7:2). Before we marry, restraining that desire requires self-control to avoid fornication. We need to teach our young girls that before they face this temptation, they should decide not to give in to this desire. Letting God’s will rule in our hearts makes this temptation easier to overcome (1 Cor. 6:15-20).
CONTROL YOUR SPEECH
Our speech should glorify Christ, not bring shame or embarrassment to Him. Our tongues can get us into a world of trouble (James 3:2-6). Before we speak or write on social media, we should “count the cost” to be sure that our words will bless and not curse. Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his mouth preserves his life.” When we are together, sisters, don’t judge one another: exhort each other. Control the urge to pick apart other sisters who might be struggling in ways we don’t know.
CONTROL YOUR APPEARANCE
“Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control” (1 Tim. 2:9, ESV). Our clothing should let us shine as examples for Christ, not as images of the world. When you clothe your heart with God’s will, your outward clothing should fall in line. Modesty is not about “wear this and don’t wear that.” What is modest for one may not be modest for another, depending on body shape and style of clothing. Let us not judge each other in matters of modesty (Rom. 14:13): It can be hurtful and divisive
Self-control will always lead to godliness when we apply it to our attitude, desires, speech, and appearance. “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Cor. 10:31)